A Working Holiday in London
by Marlene Hasemer

My name is Marlene Hasemer. I contracted polio on my way back from a working holiday in London. I was in Cape Town, South Africa at the time.

I am married, have three healthy children, 30, 32 and 34 and live in Roseville, Sydney.

Sorry, you’re not 21 years of age yet so you shall have to have the signature of a parent.

I’d just taken four hours off work to enable me to have my polio injection prior to travelling overseas in 1959. ‘I’ll never catch polio I thought to myself’ and besides I’m not going to take more time off work’. These thoughts were to haunt me for the rest of my life.

I left for London via the ‘Fairstar’ in March of 1959, bidding my family and my boyfriend, Dougie, goodbye trusting that I was taking on the normal overseas adventure and would be home in around 18 months. Doug and I had started to date 4 years prior to that and I made him a promise that no matter what happened, I would always come home to him before I ever made a decision to go with someone else.

In London, I did all the normal things any 20 year old would do. Together with my friend who lived across the road from me in Lane Cove, Helen Jordan, we traveled around England, met up with others and did a quick trip over the continent and both ended up doing temporary office work around London. I got quite friendly with one of the chaps who joined us for the European holiday and he asked me out when I arrived back in London. He was from Cape Town, South Africa. Bob McNae was his name – such a lovely style of a person, so kind, compassionate and caring.

I guess due to the fact that we were eating more junk food than I would have back home, I started to find myself developing the flu and starting to feel ‘not so good’ quite often. This, together with the lack of sun and constant fog and rain did nothing to boost my morale and so, after 14 months I decided to return home. Doug had been writing to me all the time. I’d explained to Bob that I had a boyfriend back home. He was quite comfortable with my honestly so I was not hiding anything.

Meantime I’d taken on a permanent job with Rootes Motor Group, being secretary to the Managing Director. I was in the back row of a room full of desks and secretaries. Because I worked for one of the top executives he was able to delegate a lot of work and so because I didn’t like to sit idle, I was always helping other girls out so I think they thought Australian girls were pretty good sports. I know prior to my arrival this sort of thing was not done.

I then made the decision to resign and return home, however, Bob persuaded me to go home via Cape Town and stop there for a while just to see part of his beautiful country.

What a shame I agreed – but then again who knows?

I’d decided in my mind to spend about 6 months in the place so within a week I’d applied for a job and fortunately for me the guy who interviewed me at Beechams was an Australian. He pulled down a window and said ‘You’re weather is too hot for me’. I told him it wasn’t my weather and when he found out I was from Australia he told me the job was mine. Mr Sylvester was his name – such a good-hearted kind man.

Two or three weeks into the job I developed a sore throat. It just didn’t heal and then I developed a temperature. I then found I couldn’t swallow and so Bob arranged for me to be taken to hospital. In a deep haze I was questioned as to whether I’d had the polio injection. “No” was my reply.

I could hear frantic talking in the background and I was to be taken to another hospital – all that part is simply a fuzz now.

I know I ended up at the Groote Schuur Hospital. (Sure that spelling is incorrect) Same hospital that Christian Barnard worked at.

My first recollections were seeing Bob at the entrance as I was in an isolation ward and even the nurse would have to scrub up and put on full gown and gloves. I’d feel such a nuisance asking for anything. My second recollection was seeing all these flowers in the room. Where were they from? Would you believe that although I’d only worked for Beechams for less than 2 weeks, the staff were so wonderful so many sent me flowers which made my room look like a garden. I simply adore flowers so I’ve no doubt they cheered me up in some small way.

First of all let me explain that because I had bulbar polio which affected my breathing apparatus and my legs were OK I was placed on my stomach on a bed with feet tilted up and initially I had a nurse with me which I’m sure was almost all the time with a tube sucking saliva out of my mouth so that I wouldn’t swallow it. I was told that if I swallowed it could spread to my legs. I find this hard to understand and believe but it is so clear in my mind. The most painful thing was having to have my neck turned around every 4 hours or so. They could only move it the tiniest fraction at a time and then I had to rest. I used to scream at the slightest turn but I kept being told that it was absolutely necessary to keep it rotating. It was a slow and laborious task to just turn it from one side to the other and I would absolutely dread the moment and no doubt the nurses did as well.

It wasn’t until I accidentally read the chart on the back of my bed that I found out that I had polio. When I came to my senses and was able to sit up in bed I was not able to swallow anything more than a teaspoon of stewed apples for some time without it causing a cough that kept going for about 15 minutes and almost caused me to choke. I was not able to lift my arms hence could not comb my hair and my tongue was half paralysed which caused my speech to be badly affected. Apparently my mum and dad were notified but told not to bother coming over as they didn’t expect me to live for more than 4 days.

I’ll never forget the first day I was able to have a bath. Firstly I was absolutely exhausted by walking about 10 steps and when I got into the bath and completed my wash I was unable to lift myself out as my knees and legs had become so weak. Once again, by the time I eventually got to bed I felt I’d run a marathon.

I had to be very careful when eating as if anything, even the tiniest bit of saliva went down the wrong way it would almost choke me. When I eventually arrived home and mum and dad were driving me over the bridge I can recall eating a section of orange and all of a sudden a little juice went down the wrong way and it started me off. I just couldn’t get breath and actually watched my body collapse and could do nothing about it and didn’t want to frighten my parents. Some miracle then enabled the smallest amount of air to enter and very slowly I watched myself come to life again. I was too frightened to eat oranges for years after that episode.

Back in South Africa. After spending around 3 weeks in hospital, I was then taken to some type of rehabilitation institution where there were a lot of polio victims recuperating. There there was a pool and all types of equipment to exercise on. I can recall seeing all these toddlers who just didn’t want to do any exercises. I was so glad that I was old enough to be aware and understand that this was my only way back to health.

I so wanted to cry but each time I did they would send someone along to try and cheer me up. I just wish I’d have been allowed to do this as I don’t feel I was ever able to grieve properly.

I often wonder - and this to many people would seem like a crazy question – whether if you had to get the virus whether you are better off getting it as a baby when you don’t know anything else – rather than being a totally whole person one day and quite disabled the next.

As South Africa was about to declare independence, consular officials arranged for Qantas to return me to Australia and also supplied me with nurses en route as well as at all ports of call. I came back with my neck in a support with badly slurred speech.

I can recall phoning Doug on my return and he had no idea who I was. Unbeknowns to me Bob had not passed Doug’s letters on to me so he was not aware of the full story. He heard that I was quite sick from my parents but that was all.

I ended up marrying Doug but had been told by doctors in Cape Town not to have children for 7 years. I can’t understand why the 7 years, however, due to all the problems I had with my breathing I felt it could be a wise move. I’ve since had 3 lovely children.

These days I still get breathless at the least exertion, make funny sounds when I sleep and have very restless nights. I can only sleep on my sides for fear of choking on my saliva.

I find it very difficult to swallow vitamin capsules or anything too large. One of my vocal cords is completely paralysed and I have been advised to have an operation but don’t want to risk it. I manage reasonably well but gasp quite a bit. I’m used to all of this now.

I am 64 and I can look back and though this sounds madness as there are many days when I wake up and think - wouldn’t it be wonderful if the polio was just a bad dream and I could run and walk up stairs without feeling breathless again, - in many ways it has made my life much much richer.

When I came out of that rehabilitation place I saw everything with new eyes. I actually looked at flowers and their colours and took time to be in their scent. Before that I know I just took nature for granted.

I needed to ask a whole heap of questions like Why me? What causes you to get sick? Does one really die? because there is part of me that feels totally whole and never ages.

Although I received the very best of care in South Africa from the doctors there I have since been very cynical of the way doctor’s treat illnesses. I feel that nobody understands your body better than yourself and that we should all learn to listen to our own small voice which knows all about ourselves. We have handed over all our trust to doctors and I think that is to our detriment.

I have learnt that you must always participate in your own healing. No-one else can make you better. All the healing power is within you if you allow it to activate. I also accept that the mind plays an enormous part in all of this and the problem is that most of us are stuck in old belief systems which hold us bound. Whilst there is life in a body and you have the belief I feel that miracles are possible – I’ve seen them.

I feel that your participation is needed, however, and often this takes quite a bit of effort but people have been educated to think that medicines can cure. I don’t believe that medicines cure anything – sure they can cover the symptoms and make you feel better for a period but you have to work with the cause of the problem. In other words I feel we need to take personal responsibility with all things and not blame others.

I know now beyond any doubt that I am a spirit in a body and we are all constantly evolving. Sickness is often one of the greatest teachers we have. It teaches us compassion, it gives us deeper understanding, it makes us take less for granted. I also never take good health for granted. In other words there is no way I’d be tempted to smoke or do anything that was going to obviously harm my body.

Over the years, especially since I’ve changed my belief system, I’ve improved enormously. I play golf regularly and use a battery operated buggy. I play on a very hilly course and get very very breathless but players always allow me to hit off last on the hilly holes. I know that this has benefited me enormously. It is not easy and that I have to stress – but each year I feel really good about myself to think that I’ve managed one more.

I try and be very conscious of breathing out fully and in fact breathing all the time. I used to find that when I concentrated on anything I would stop breathing. I have had a lot of help from deep massage healers who live in Bowral. Les helped me gain so much more confidence with my throat and swallowing. I also do gentle stretching exercises for my limbs.

I’ve also had lots of help with Stephen Levine meditations – especially the one on ‘Going into the Pain’. I had enormous pain in back plus sciatica last year. I have been playing tapes during the night when I sleep restlessly – normal for me -and I am amazed at the results.
I think there is all the help in the world when you seek it but you have to put the thought out in your sub-conscious mind so that it can do the search for you.

Thank you for the opportunity of sharing.
Marlene Hasemer.